Stop chasing the ‘bad boy’ in your biz

The other day in the mastermind, one of my clients asked the following question…  

… and with permission I’m sharing this coaching exchange with you, in case something lands for you too: 

‘Hey Cass, I’d love to hear your thoughts on something that I’ve noticed lately.

In the past, when I had a tendency to undervalue myself and my capabilities, whenever something great happened or I achieved something (in biz or work), I used to experience this wonderful feeling of growth and excitement, like “OMG I didn’t think I could do this and now look at me, I’ve done it!”.

Now that I’ve worked on strengthening my beliefs, seeing my value, and knowing what I’m capable of, I’ve noticed that I no longer feel this magical sense of expanded possibilities when I uplevel – now it’s a more dull feeling of “oh great, done this, what’s next”.

It’s like now that I believe that I can, it’s no longer as exciting or fulfilling as when I thought that I couldn’t or might not have been able to.
Not sure if this makes sense.

It’s not a problem as such, more like a curious observation – I’m acutely aware that I don’t want to simply “keep uplevelling” for the sake of it, as it’s not about chasing that high, it’s more that I’d like to experience more joy and excitement when I do uplevel or achieve things.

I wonder if it’s connected to working on the belief “it’s already done” and hence there is less of a “nice surprise” when it’s done?’

This was my response…

Okay tell me what you think of this… I think your nervous system is catching up with—and acclimating to—not having to chase success.

Because you’re creating it more easefully. It’s like going from dating the ‘bad boy’ to the steady, stable, ‘boring’ guy. The guy who really likes you and doesn’t play hard to get or make you chase him.

The one who actually answers your calls and replies to your texts. BORING huh! 

Or… solid, stable and filled with more ease? 

Maybe the next piece for you is finding joy in the stability you have created?

In the ease you have created?

In the confidence and consistency?

I wonder how that would feel…?

And how much is still (and always) possible when you’re sitting in that solid, joyful energy?

The other thing that just dropped in is: maybe you’re not feeling the same sense of excited fulfilment because in the past you were making the accomplishment very emphatically mean something about yourself, like ‘Oh phew, maybe I am good at this, maybe I am doing this ‘right’, oh thank goodness this has happened because I’ve been working so hard.’

So there’s been a ton of relief and a flood of feel-good thoughts and hormones when you’ve accomplished something.

Now it feels like there’s such a deep level of belief, that you’re not feeling the rush of emotions that came after achieving something in the past because… they are there anyway.

The joy, the relief, the trust, the knowing that ‘this is working’. And that is epic. 

And so now… can you still evaluate how you created the result/accomplishment anyway?

Can you continue to stack the evidence that you are creating and accomplishing incredible things and that you can do this all again?

That was my response inside our Facebook group.

This isn’t to say that my client won’t feel the rush of excitement and joy when she achieves future goals; the thrill of reaching a goal is part of the human experience.

It’s an invitation for her to step into a deeper state of belief now. It’s an invitation for her to have higher quality thoughts about her abilities, her work, and her process of moving into her next level success, time and time again (because we do this at every level we reach).

This is the kind of coaching and connection that happens daily in our private mastermind group.

It’s the kind of coaching that helps bridge the gaps between where you are, and where you want to be, in between our weekly live coaching calls and all the other tools and resources available inside our portal and on our private podcast feed.

If you’re ready to uplevel your beliefs and your business, join me in the mastermind and let’s do this work together. I’ll be here to coach you, daily.

Apply for the Aligned & Unstoppable Mastermind here.




I’m Cassie Mendoza-Jones

My work is for you if you’re ready to change your beliefs about what’s possible for you.

It’s time to clear away your blocks, align your energy, and call your power back to you.

Your biz has your back

Join me for a free workshop to download your Divine Business Plan and see what gems your biz has in store for you.

Join Coaching With Cass now, because you deserve to feel really good about your biz growthLEARN MORE