I’ve been thinking about growth lately…
… specifically, how we can be so hard on ourselves if (or when) we feel like we aren’t growing ‘enough’, or when we feel like we ‘should’ be further ahead then we are.
This year in particular, I’ve had to let my definition of growth shift and change.
Or, perhaps it’s not so much my definition of it, but my action and reaction towards it. My external growth (read: output) hasn’t been what it used to be, because of the internal growth that’s been happening; the inward shifts are outweighing the outward goals and I’ve had to surrender to much of these changes.
It’s still true that my creative energy has been directed and focused in a rather intense way this whole year; it’s just that the focus has been very different to the focus of years past.
From healing from a blighted ovum (miscarriage) at the start of the year, to now being over 6 months pregnant, I can point to where the majority of this year’s growth has gone. (Baby!)
And so as I start to wind down my working year, and head into a slower summer and a cocoony-nesty phase, I’ve been reflecting on growth—can we still have it when it looks very different to what we anticipated?—and I’m loving the answers and insights that are coming through in the process.
I’m expanding on these thoughts in my next book (which will be out sometime-ish after the baby comes!) Pictured above is my first draft, all 65,000 words of her.
I like to reserve printing any pages until the very, very end (to save paper) but to make the progress I want to make, I had to see it all laid out in front of me. Partly to see what needs to be moved around, expanded or relegated to the cut-offs file (see post from two pics ago) and partly to prove to myself that this book is still happening—albeit way more slowly than ‘usual.’
My usual creative output is different than ever before, but holding these pages in my hands, I can see and feel and believe and know that while this book might need some extra time, it’ll be so worth it, and that’s perfect.
So although the book isn’t out just yet, I wanted to put some of my notes just below, to support you if you’re going through a period of growth that might feel sticky, or wanting to reconnect to the part of you who is truly always evolving:
- Growth is always, always, always available to you; but you’re also allowed to always, always, always trust that you’re in the right place for yourself, right now.
- You don’t have to control your growth, and in fact, if you try to, you may find yourself feeling further and further away from it. Rather, allow yourself to align to it in your own time, in your own way, always trusting in the ‘or something better.
- You are never static; you are not only always evolving but you are always able to connect with the part of yourself who knows that is true and available to you.
- You can always grow into who you are, raising your vibration, energy and frequency, while simultaneously still being exactly who you’re meant to be in this current moment.
- You can always grow and evolve at your own pace; racing and rushing doesn’t get you to the finish line faster (because there is no finish line).
- You can feel expansion and fear at the same time; the fear will be in your head (hoping you’ll grip onto it), the expansion will sit in your body (hoping you’ll let go of the fear, waiting for you to lean into what’s next). Listen to your body first.
Trust, and stay open; knowing you’re supported and protected throughout this process of growth. (This time, and the next. And the next. And the next…)