You’ve done this before

At times, I’ve found myself bracing for the worst:

What if it doesn’t work out, then what’ll I do?

When I’m on a roll and having a great week, I need to be prepared for when things go bad again.

How can I go ahead with this, if last time it didn’t work out?

How will I manage in tough times in the future, even though I’m really okay right now?

At times, I’ve braced myself for challenges that haven’t arisen, in the hopes I’ll be more prepared when they do.

At times, I’ve looked deep into my past and tried to analyse what went wrong even more than I’ve acknowledged what went right.

At times, I’ve been scared to try again in case I failed; actually, sometimes I’ve been too scared to try at all, in case I failed.

At times, I’ve been a Doomsday Prepper of my own life.

And it was exhausting.

Carrying the weight of anticipating failures is heavy; it’s the opposite of flow, and joy, and trust. It’s the opposite of how I want to live.

And what I’ve found is that being fearful of what hasn’t even happened yet, because of a memory I have from the past, has been a side-effect of not having fully cleared away or integrated all the feelings of past disappointments.

It’s been a side-effect of not trusting myself enough, of not trusting my life enough, of not trusting that I’m supported enough.

We’re allowed to carry lessons with us from failure to failure, but let’s also carry joy, trust, lightness and courage with us from day to day.

We’re allowed to remember what went wrong, but let’s also remember what went right.

We’re allowed to have fear, but let’s also have joy, and lightness, and ease.

We’re allowed to see our shadows (in fact, I believe we must), but let’s also make even more space for our light.

Don’t be scared of how you’ll manage a future challenge; trust yourself that you’ll make it through, because you’ve done this before, and you can do it again.

 

Love,